Common knowledge is not always common sense. For instance, we have a common assumption in our day that marrying late is always 
the best way to marry. We say, “They are too young to marry.” We talk about marriages failing because people were young and stupid.  We tell our children to wait, wait, wait and abstain, abstain, abstain. All along their changing bodies come which changing desires which suggest that they would neither wait nor abstain.
So what does the wait get us? More mature people in stable marriage? Marriages that last? Perhaps in a few rare cases. But what we generally get are people getting married who have been intimate in one way or another with many people before marriage. That has real consequences to how intimacy is experienced within marriage. We get people who have been so independently formed in their ways and habits that the dependence which is central to marriage is so foreign to their minds that it is near impossible to embrace in meaningful ways. Those who do in faith wait as part of their identity in Christ Jesus begin to wonder if there is anyone out there that might be like them when it does come time to marry.
All I know is that almost everyone I know who has been married a long time seems to says to me, “We got married young.” They say it almost as in reading their own scarlet letter. But to me, marrying young is not a thing that needs to be mentioned with meekness.
Some, myself included, might just suggest that it is common sense, even if it is not common knowledge. When the body and the desires develop to the point of desiring intimacy with the opposite sex, doesn’t it make sense to let those things be experiences within the safety of marriage with another who also has not be into the bed of many others? And if we entrusted this estate to the young, is it not also possible that they would grow up and mature much sooner than they do in the status quo which encourages them to refrain from real responsibility as long as student loans or welfare allow? And perhaps the idea that someday you will find a perfect person would become a thing of the past as well.
It seems like common sense to me.
I believe our culture’s preference for extended adolescence (I’m not sure I even believe in something called “adolescence”) leads to tremendous temptation for the youth. At the time when their hormones are raging at their most dangerous level, we tell them to wait – get your education first – get your feet on the ground – start your career – etc., etc… Young men and women at their most vulnerable time in life are sent off as independent individuals into a strange little community of raging hormones to live and interact with each other in the absence of parental supervision and protection, and we wonder why we have the problems we do today.
In ¶212 of his Large Catechism explanation of the Sixth Commandment, Luther rightly points out:
“For where nature has its course, as it is implanted by God, it is not possible to remain chaste without marriage. For flesh and blood remain flesh and blood, and the natural inclination and excitement have their course without let or hindrance, as everybody sees and feels. In order, therefore, that it may be the more easy in some degree to avoid unchastity, God has commanded the estate of matrimony, that every one may have his proper portion and be satisfied therewith; although God’s grace besides is required in order that the heart also may be pure.”
Later in ¶201, Luther writes: “And it [this commandment] really aims at adultery, because among the Jews it was ordained and commanded that every one must be married. Therefore also the young were married early, such that the virgin state was held in small esteem, neither were public prostitution and lewdness tolerated (as now). Therefore adultery was the most common form of unchastity among them.”
The German of the sentence above in bold and italics is: “Darum auch die Jugend aufs zeitlichste beraten [in die Ehe gebracht] ward.”
The Bekenntnichßchriften has a footnote at this point to clarify the old German which states: möglichst zeitig verheiratet [marry as early as possible].
Near the end of his explanation in ¶217-218, Luther then returns to this thought in explaining what we should thus advise our young to do…
217] Now, I speak of this in order that the young may be so guided that they conceive a liking for the married estate, and know that it is a blessed estate and pleasing to God. For in this way we might in the course of time bring it about that married life be restored to honor, and that there might be less of the filthy, dissolute, disorderly doings which now run riot the world over in open prostitution and other shameful vices arising from disregard of married life. 218] Therefore it is the duty of parents and the government to see to it that our youth be brought up to discipline and respectability, and when they have come to years of maturity, to provide for them [to have them married] in the fear of God and honorably; He would not fail to add His blessing and grace, so that men would have joy and happiness from the same.
The German of ¶218 is:
“Darum sind hier die Eltern und Obrigkeit auch schuldig, auf die Jugend zu sehen, daß man sie zur Zucht und Ehrbarkeit aufziehe und, wenn sie erwachsen, mit Gott und Ehren berate [verheirate]; dazu würde er seinen Segen und Gnade geben, daß man Lust und Freude davon hätte.”
The Latin is even more clear on the point I am concentrating on here:
“Quare hoc quoque parentum ac magistratus est officium, iuventutis rationem habere, ut pudicitiam et honestatem perdiscant, atque ubi adoleverint, mature honesto iungantur matrimonia, quam rem haud dubie sua gratia et benedictione prosperare dignaretur Deus, ut voluptas et gaudium inde perciperetur.”
“…atque ubi adoleverint, mature honesto iungantur matrimonia…” – translated literally this states: “…moreover once they reach manhood, to soon enter into the honorable estate of marriage…”
The Latin adverb “mature” carries the meaning of “quickly” or “speedily” – that is, “SOON!”
The Large Catechism explanation of the Sixth Commandment thus clearly advises parents (and the government) that it is their duty to provide a culture, laws, and institutions by which our children can be kept chaste until they marry, and also that our children should be encouraged to seek marriage soon – that is, once they have started to experience the natural desire for the opposite sex – a desire that God has given to them as a gift. This gift is given to instill the desire to marry and be fruitful.
So, I agree with your post. In fact, I believe the argument could be made that quia subscription to the Large Catechism demands agreement. Contrary to the prevailing modern practice, we should encourage the search for a spouse to begin early and to seek marriage in a timely fashion. As I see it, this primary duty and estate of marriage and fruitfulness should not be subordinated to any other.
Here is an Issues, Etc. episode on this very subject, where Rev. Todd Wilken cogently states: “Marriage is a divine institution, college is not.”
http://www.issuesetc.org/podcast/Show48090308H1S2.mp3
And here is a really good post on the subject by Rev. Rick Stuckwisch with an interesting discussion afterward including a few comments by me:
http://sword-in-hat.blogspot.com/2009/03/what-this-world-needs.html
AMEN!!! Great blog post. BTW I’m a product of a young marriage, and I think it’s great that I’m almost 30 and my parents are still under 50. So even though, I’m getting a late start on having children, they’ll still be healthy enough and youthful enough to play with their grandchildren.
Phil: Will you be marrying off Ella at 13 then? (Only sort-of kidding… )
What I have gleaned from reading on the topic of delayed marriage is that the same people who are likely to have a stable marriage are also pressured to wait. This generally identifiable group would have the same marriage success if they married earlier, but it is no longer socially acceptable to do so. The population control crowd loves later marriage and less trust between husband and wife because that means fewer children. When folks are indoctrinated in materialism and hedonism, they have fewer children. When you look at the history of the birth control movement, it has always been rich folks talking about birth control for the poor. Classic us vs. them. Ironically the wealthy have availed themselves of birth control more than the poor have, so now the situation is more desperate for those overbearing know-it-alls. Their number is actually decreasing in total number of births, not just relative proportion.