Luther in the Large Catechism:
“It is useful and necessary always to teach, admonish, and remind young people of all this so that they may be brought up, not only with blows and compulsion, like cattle, but in the fear and reverence of God. These are not trifles of men but the commandments of the most high God, who watches over them with great earnestness, who vents his wrath upon those who despise them, and, on the contrary, abundantly rewards those who keep them. Where men consider this and take it to heart, there will arise a spontaneous impulse and desire gladly to do God’s will.” 1
I see and hear many Christians on TV and the Radio whose statement about Christian parenting often seems to be nothing more than a cheerleading squad for spanking. I do not suppose that their thoughts on parental discipline are as simple as that, but in the short time they are given in our sound byte culture, they are usually restricted to simply arguing against those who claim that all spanking is bad. All cards on the table, I am not against spanking.  Neither am I again those who choose not to use it. I am always inclined to give deference to any parent’s idea in regards to what means of discipline they use with their children. I think parents must discipline their children and be parents. How they do it is up to them.
But regardless of how a parent chooses to teach their children right from wrong (their God given vocation), I think Luther is very wise in saying that we as parents must always ask this question, “What is the overall point of our discipline?” Are we seeking to make our kids fear us? Are we seeking to keep them out of trouble with the law? Or are we trying to make them understand what it means to fear God? How often does our parenting direct our children to a consideration of their relationship to God? For no doubt, as parents this is the most loving thing we can do, to remind our children that the most important relationship they have is with God, their heavenly Father. We must remind our Christians children of the great love God has for them (manifested at cross and tomb) and the impact that his grace has on their life. We must seek to explain to them what it means to be blessed to be called the children of God. And must make them to realize that everything they do have an effect on the relationship they have with Him. We must remind them that to walk in the way of God is the way of true life blessed by God, and to walk in any other way in the way of true death.
Luther again:
“This would be the right way to bring up children, so long as they can be trained with kind and pleasant methods, for those who have to be forced by means of rods and blows will come to no good end; at best they will remain good only as long as the rod is on their backs. This kind of training takes such root in their hearts that they fear God more than they do rods and clubs.” 2
If your kids fear you, one day you will be far enough away to ignore such terror. If they fear the law, they will find a way to escape its wrath as well. But if you teach them to fear God, you have done well. God is pleased. They regardless of all else, they will view all they do in light of the relationship God has initiated with them in Baptism.
So next time you discipline your child, ask this, what is the point of your discipline? Does it direct them only to fear you or some other authority. Or do you make clear that their actions are not pleasing to their heavenly Father, and encourage them (and lead them) to confess their wrong not only the wrong party, but to God himself. Do you tell them of the forgiveness God offers to them?
I write not to instruct you so much as to remind myself. May God forgive the times when I do the easy thing and make myself into nothing but an idol for my children to fear. And may I teach my children rightly to fear God that “ihis kind of training takes such root in their hearts that they fear God more than they do rods and clubs.”
1 Tappert, Theodore G.: The Book of Concord : The Confessions of the Evangelical Lutheran Church. Philadelphia : Fortress Press, 2000, c1959, S. 410
