Below is Patrick Shriver’s Tweet, 17 Year old Son of Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver, on the occasion of his parents announcing their split.
I understand that this boy must say something out loud to make it seem to others and himself that he is okay. But sadly, he is simply echoing what society says about divorce. It is not big deal. People just move on. It is ultimately good for the kids.
I understand that there are cases in which divorce may be biblically appropriate. But regardless of why it happens, it is never a small speed bump. In divorce, that which was once one is ripped apart into pieces and that drastic of a wound always bleeds. And unlike the myth of divorce recited by the storytellers of our day, it does not heal quickly.
We must stop telling lies about divorce to ourselves and others. It is not a small speed bump. It is an IED that not even Hummers can withstand without damage. People get hurt. Some damage can never be repaired. Scars are sure to remain.
All involved need the care of Christ and his people. The sinner(s) need rebuke and redemption leading to reconciliation. The innocents (in regards to the divorce) need endless love from anyone that can offer it. All need Jesus and His Church.
I am reading all your blog posts. I am just having a hard time coming up with something useful to add. Try being less right-on-the-mark and I’ll do my best to jump on it. 😉
Jaime
/child of divorce
/heart and family healed by God’s grace over a looooong time
/still bears scars that occasionally become wounds again
If it’s small… then why get divorced. Phil, you have this right, which shocks me not at all. Just to echo what your saying: it is not only divorce society does not understand, it is marriage. The vow IS important. The vow should assure that small “speed bumps” which I would call sin-conflicts, don’t separate what God unites. Speed bumps are where God’s forgiveness enters the picture. You take your problems to the Lord, you receive forgiveness, you forgive, and you stay married.
Thanks, Pr. Phil.
I find it so hard to deal with this issue, never having been in the situation. Nevertheless I cannot understand many of these separations. We no longer seem to view marriage as a vocation, but as — well, I don’t know. An option?
My own parents (now both deceased) were divorced. On the one hand they were both better people when they were not together, on the other I still cannot understand why they could not work it out. Then again, I have often said, you cannot look inside another couple’s marriage – no matter how well you think you know them. It’s just a tough situation.