Okay if theology doesn’t generate conversation, perhaps this will.
Why are we as a society so concerned and strict about those who commit sexually orientated crimes? Why do they go on a list? Why are some states considering issuing them special identifiable license plates?
I know, I know. It is for the children! These people can’t be reformed! Save our babies!
Hogwash! Let me ask me a question. Is you child more endangered by a sexual offender or a violent murderer living close? And yet, murderers who are released are not placed on any public registry.
So why do I suppose that we have a societal hangup with these types? Well I believe that we ostracize them in order to make our own perversions seem more normal. If we talk about them, label them, and place them on lists, we can feel good that we do not share their perversion. And so our society full of adulterers, sodomites, and pornography addicts feels good that they are not sexual offenders as defined by that same society. Our perversion become normalized as theirs become more demonized.
Yes, even in this postmodern playground where all is supposed to be relative, we must draw a very modern-minded line in the sand to ease our conscience.
Exactly!
I think this is the same reason we in the church get so upset about gay/lesbian issues but are absolute softies on divorce. Most of us are not in the slightest bit tempted to homosexuality, but many are divorced and we all have it in our families and among our friends. We can be so doggoned self-righteous about not being gay. Big deal!
Keep writing, Phil. I am reading, even if I haven’t responded til now.
Jim Wagner
Phil,
This is so interesting because just the other day in our local paper there was an article about a sex offender that wanted to officiate a non-school basketball game. It, if i remember right, was being held at a school and was between school age children. This man went to the principal, told him who he was, what he wanted to do, etc. and also had registered as a sex offender according to the law. He was permitted to officiate. One of the coaches was upset and gave out flyers at the game to the parents who were there and this official was booed off the court and yelled at. I think that what this coach did was horrible and unfortunate. Truly sad!
And you have rightly remarked that we play up certain things so our sins and shortcomings seem okay when “compared” to these other issues.
And while I agree with the overall direction and thrust of your post (excellent by the way) I do disagree with a couple of ideas. While studies seem to show that sex offenders are no more likely (and even less somewhat) to repeat than other offenders it is based on the idea that sex offenders are given programs and treatment to go through and especially if those things are done in a group setting. Plus low recidivism rates vary among the various types of sex offenders. And it seems that the more serious offenders aren’t even released from prison as to commit a crime again. So while I believe that reform can truly happen it seems to happen only if there are helps set up for it.
This leads to my second area of disagreement (though it wasn’t something you actually denied, but rather seemed not to comment on). I think God places a importance on children. The way they are able to demonstrate faith in a way that many adults can’t or won’t. Their ability to be molded and also their “innocence”. That when someone robs a child of their innocence they have done a truly terrible thing.
Is it fair or right? Not all the time. Does it make us feel better about ourselves and what we do wrong? Sure. But yet I do believe there is something to the mantra of “protecting our children.” But let me say again, I believe true reform can happen and we can’t make ourselves feel better at other people’s expense. And that if a sex offender moved into my community I would whole heartedly embrace him or her and seek to have a good relationship with them. Rejoice with them over any progress they have made in this area of their life. And yet, at the same time, be cautious with that person around my children. I have written this over a period of a couple hours (in inbetween dinner, taking care of my kids, etc.)…so I hope this makes sense. I wouldn’t be surprised if it didn’t though! 🙂
Jim-
Thanks for coming out of the shadows. And I agree, especially in churches where we live it is easy to focus on the sin of homosexuality which does not haunt us while ignoring the prevalence of divorce so common here. It is so much easy to demonize “them” rather than examine “us.”
Tom-
Agreed! We must protect our children, and I am not suggesting that we should allow those with this perversion into all situations. I am simply saying that we have focused so much on these crimes so as to make our own perversions seem more normal.
There is a difference, though.
I’ve got my own sins that are my favorites. Gossip, laziness, judgement of others, condescension at times, not holding my tongue when I should, a heart of rebellion rather than obedience… to name a few. I’ll throw in a few sins of people I know for the sake of debate — divorce, homosexuality, pornography. Serious stuff… and stuff that God finds 100% detestable. Sins that hurt people, sometimes for a long time. I was the “victim” of my parents’ sin of divorce and paid heavily for a long time, and still am a bit scarred.
With all of that said, sexual crimes are in an entirely different category. I think sexuality has such a close tie to identity. Growing up, I wanted to be a wife and mother (sex and reproduction are important to both of those roles). Sex is an incredibly vulnerable act that is meant to be a union of love and admiration and beauty. But when a kid is sexually abused, it’s something that affects them for life… in a way that is much more painful and personal than even my parents’ divorce was to me.
Would I be friends with a recovering sex offender? Yep. But I wouldn’t let him/her anywhere near my kids. Ever. Ever. Ever.
Jaime-
Let me ask one question. Are sexuality and identity that intrinsically tied, or it part of the reason sexual crime is so damaging to identity our society’s obsession with demonizing it. Or to ask a different way, in cultures where sexual sins against children are sadly accepted as the norm are the children’s future identity as affected?
I absolutely think they are that intrinsically tied. One, there’s the fact that God set up marriage/sex (in theory, the two go together) as a model of Christ’s union with His bride. Our identities as Christian believers come from our relationship with Christ…. so it’s not surprising that our identities as people in this world will be strongly influenced by the ways we experience sexuality in this world.
Two, I think Americans (Christian and non-Christian) do a very poor job of encouraging a healthy perspective of sexuality. The non-Christians and secular Christians tend to embrace any sexuality as healthy sexuality. Biblical Christians tend to err on the opposite side. They do a great job of giving the message that *sex* is for marriage, but likewise are usually silent or vague on *sexuality* before marriage. Whether a teenager has sex or not, he/she’s a being with sexuality. There’s a fine line between what’s natural and what’s sinful, and since that’s a hard line to find, biblical Christians don’t say anything at all… leaving kids to get the message that if they experience any feelings or thoughts or bodily reactions before marriage they must be dirty.
When it comes to cultures where sexual sins against children are the norm, I still think their identities are mightily affected. While it is easier to deal with troubles when others around you have dealt with the same thing, I think any time a kid is prematurely exposed to an adult sexuality, there are going to be unhealthy consequences. And it also sends the message to the kid that they’re made for being used.