The Worst Thing A Modern Girl Can Want

I talked to a young lady a couple years out of high school today and asked her what her plans were for life.  Her answer was in one way so odd for a girl her age and yet she said it so matter-of-factly.  To be most honest, it was an answer I would be tickled to hear my girls give some day.   To paraphrase she said, “I just want to be a wife and a mother and raise my kids.”  She went on to express that she would pursue other things in life but that this was her real desire.

Many might look at this young lady and conclude that she just doesn’t know  what she wants to do in life.  I fear many would respond to that answer with some version of, “Yeah, but what do you really want to do? Like what do you want to do with your life.”  But the problem is not that this young lady doesn’t know what she wants to do but that our society is not equipped to help a lady like her pursue her dreams.

If she wanted to be doctor, we would lay out a plan to get there.  If she wanted to be a career missionary, we could tell her where to look.  If she wanted to be anything but a wife and mother, we would have a plan.   But with this we are stuck.

Most would just dismiss her desire as outdated or not well thought out.  But even those of us in the Christian community are not well prepared to help.  At best, we tell her to wait for the one God will give her and be content with Jesus until then.  And while it is true that we are to find our ultimate contentment with Jesus, it is not altogether true that just waiting is the only thing one who desires to marry and raise a family can do.

What should we be willing to do for a young lady like her?

• We should be completely supportive of her choice.  We should train ourselves to not be shocked by her answer even though it is sadly rare for a woman of her age.  We should rejoice in her choice at least as strongly as we would of those who pursue other vocations.  Perhaps more.
• We should open up every opportunity for her to learn the way of wives and mothers.  We should have more resources and opportunities for those who desire this Godly goal.  We should have older women ready to mentor her and younger women willing to share raising their children with her.
• We should be dedicated to finding her godly men to consider for marriage if she will allow such help.  First and foremost, this should be a concern of her parents but others can help as well.  Churches used to place boys and girls of marrying age intentionally together in group settings to foster this possibility.  We have outsourced all this to the public school lunch room, dating websites, and the bars.  We should take it back. If we do not wish to consider arranged marriages, we should at least arrange events that facilitate the interaction of Christian singles.
• We should put aside many of our cultural assumptions such as:
• That a woman must establish an independent life before pursuing the married life.
• That the level of education one completes is a good measure of the value of that person to society.
• That being a wife and mother is not a real job.
• That marrying young is foolish.
• And probably a hundred other assumptions.

This particular young lady has some of this support already in her life already in her family and church.  But hopefully more and more young ladies will give this answer in the future because the Lord Jesus knows we need more dedicated wives and mothers in our world.  Many of them will not have much support initially for such a counter-cultural desire.  We as Christian people should be ready to affirm and help these young women.