It seems that people in our day have forgotten that there is sin in the act of divorce. When people talk about getting divorced, they do not seem any longer to see that there is a moral choice being made. They think that divorce is simply the result of past sins, and not a moral choice in itself. They do not understand that past sins do not give justification to the sin of divorce. To be cliché, two wrongs do not make a right. I am writing this out of a context which I know my readers remain ignorant of, but I hope it still makes since. To put it is simpler language, the fact that your spouse has done wrong does not make it okay for you to divorce them. Their sin cannot remove the guilt of your action. It must be avoided, and when already done, repented of, the fruits thereof being evident. There is sin in the act of divorce.
+Footnote: This post ignores that the bible does allow Divorce in certain cases, namely in the case of adultery and unbelieving abandonment. In such cases, there is no sin in the act of divorce. These cases are ignored to focus on the main issue.
As the child of divorced parents, I applaud your bold stance on this.
A few added thoughts:
It is not easy to get divorced, even though it seems like the easy (or only) way out. My parents divorced when I was 18 after two or three years of fighting/separation, and aside from the deaths of loved ones, it was the hardest thing that any of us have gone through. My mom read somewhere that it takes about 5 years for things to really settle down post-divorce, especially where kids are involved… and my dad agrees with that fact. I wish that there was some sort of organized Christian initiative to save marriages that asks people to commit to five years of intensive marriage-saving instead. It would still mean five years of struggle and pain and hurt, but with a much more favorable, God-pleasing, healthy outcome.
Also, I can name numerous and specific ways that the sins of the parents have been passed on to my generation in my family, and even to the next generation. My siblings and I each dealt with the pain of our parents’ divorce in different ways, many of them unhealthy. Our parents’ sins left us hurting, and that hurt fueled our own sins.
On a more positive note, I can also name numerous and specific ways that God’s grace has covered us even in the midst of all this hurting and pain and suffering — and I’ve seen it play out beautifully in a few of the broken families around me, too. I am always amazed when God uses awful circumstances (even ones we bring upon ourselves) to bless us and reveal Himself. Of course, that doesn’t justify the sin, but it reminds me that God’s goodness is not dependent on our worthiness in the least.