My son in the local newspaper seemingly pleaded, “Santa, please come to my house this year.” The reason? Well because he has never come to our house. And why? I am not comfortable deceiving my children. Now you might think that statement extreme, but I believe the tears that come when a young one finds out the truth about Santa flow from a place deeper than just having Santa removed from their reality. I believe they flow from hard questions about the honesty of the adults who have deceived them for so long. We tell them time and time again, “Do not lie,” and then deceive away. How could they not be confused and disappointed in us when they learn that truth?
And my fears go beyond that. I fear it is only natural when Santa dies, the easter bunny stops hopping, and the tooth fairy runs out of quarters to give, that our children would also question the other grand narrative we have taught them to believe, the story of a loving God, his Son and the cross. How can they not wonder if one day they will be told that it was all just a good story as well? Thank God the Holy Spirit guards them from such disappointment.
Oh I am not perfect, I placed a few quarters the other night in place of a prize tooth, but even then questioned my actions. Why can we not bring joy to our children in truth instead of deception?
Phil,
Great post. I have struggled with these same questions. I think you statement of:”that our children would also question the other grand narrative we have taught them to believe, the story of a loving God, his Son and the cross. How can they not wonder if one day they will be told that it was all just a good story as well?” is so true and thought-provoking. Thanks for the great reminder.
My father-in-law loves to dress up as Santa Claus and visit the grandkids…for so long he couldn’t come to visit our kids…and, truth be told, i am still uncomfortable with him coming to our house now…but this is the only time we let our kids see Santa (Chloe knows that presents come from mom and dad) and we have told Toni’s dad to make it a point to tell our kids what Christmas is all about. I know, it is still somewhat hypocritical – and i appreciated your post pointing that out. Thanks for your honesty in how you have struggled with these type of things as well – it seemed as if you spoke from a place of “humble generosity.”
Hey!
Actually, your fear is my cousin’s reality. They don’t go to church, and when she found out about Santa, the conversation went just about exactly as you described. “Well, is there an Easter Bunny? What about a Tooth Fairy? What about God?”
It’s one of the reasons that Jason and I (who both grew up believing in Santa) decide not to make it a tradition we pass down to our kids.
Sure, the concept of Santa is fun. Make-believe in general is fun, and healthy too… but teaching fantasy as fact does not seem like the best course of action to me.
Another reason is that I remember the incredible disappointment when I found out he wasn’t real. What message does it send about the value of Jesus’ birth if we have to make up extra stories to make the day “better?” Why on earth would I ever want my kids to be disappointed that Christmas is *just* about Jesus being born? To us… Jesus is enough. More than enough.
Jaime and Tom-
So what do you tell your children about those who are deceiving their children willfully and joyfully. What about the public schools who are left with nothing but Santa to celebrate in our schools? What about every dang person in every store who ask my children about Santa? What do I do about my church altar guild who always brings Santa to the church party? My child is confused, and I know why, but am not sure how to clear up the confusion without calling his teachers, those people in the store, my altar guild liars to his face.
yes, phil, yes….you can them all liars right to their faces. you tell them that all their santa crap and santa suits will burn forever in the depths of fire and brimstone and that you and yours will rejoice at the downfall of that pathetic clown called santa…..or, you can punch them in the face. 🙂