How do you do it?
How do most do it:
Grandpa is in heaven. He is happy now.
This says too little and is not how the bible speaks about death.
How should we do it:
1. Speak of the practical reality of death. The one who died will no longer be at the house. They will not be at the games. We will miss them.
2. Speak of death as the bible does. The one who died has fallen asleep in Jesus. It is a blessed sleep with the Lord. Jesus will come one day and wake them from this sleep. We will see them then body and soul.
This allows kids to know what to expect practically and what to believe about death and resurrection. Simple, yet profound.
What do you think?
I realize that “fallen asleep in Jesus” is Biblical, but I would caution strongly against using any term about asleep=death in the under, oh, 8 or so crowd. I think the rest of this is spot on – how missing the person is normal because they were a part of our lives and we love them, about their now being in the presence of Christ as all of us who are baptized one day will be. But sleep and death can be confusing to a very young child, causing needless fear of sleep (the state of daily rest).
Phil, what do you say about heaven?
And seriously – that pic is just so sad. 🙁
Genevieve-
We might say best that the bible says that death is like sleep, not that it is sleep. But I think this image is used because all humanity, even little ones can grasp it. And the overall point of this post is to get even little to understand that death is not the last major event for the Christian. The resurrection is. Sleep for the Christian always leads to waking. and that truth is comforting for young and old alike. I think the terrifying way is when we tell kids that the grave is the final resting place. Not that scares even me.
Jaime- this may seem an odd question, but what do you mean by “heaven?” And yes, I know. 🙂
Phil,
I have a 4 year old about to turn 5. She has had an elder friend at church die less than a year ago. She knew he was sick then one day he died. I explained to her that his body is dead and that his body will be buried and he will not be with us anymore at church. But his soul, the part of him that loved her and loved Jesus is not dead and we will see him again when Jesus comes to take us all to heaven. Last month my Grandmother, her great grandma, died. She remembered what I said.
Patrick
Heaven – paradise, being in the presence of God, etc.
And when is one in heaven if you use of the word?
Ack, Phil, cut the Socratic and tell me what *you* think. 😉
But I’d quote Jesus’ “Today” on the cross and say it happens when we die.
Jaime,
Here is the short answer. Dieing and going to heaven is the main way Christians speak of death in our day. However, it is not the common way the scriptures speak. I believe we should only say what the scriptures say. The person at death is with Christ. They will be bodily raised at the coming of the Lord Jesus. This is why I stick with the sleep and wake talk. It is far better to be with Christ than to be here, but it is not the “end.” The end is the resurrection and life in the new heavens and earth. The word heaven is used most often simply in contrast to earth in the bible and is the dwelling place of God. It is not used in the bible much like we use it, as the home of the blessed dead. So I don’t use the word that way much. I speak of our eventual home, the new heavens and earth.
Socrates
Socrates? I thought I was reading N.T. Wright :)! Good stuff Phil….and absolutely right on….”heaven” is not the main point, in the words of N.T. Wright: it is about “life after life after death”.
Phil – but the “in sleep with Christ” idea implies unconsciousness… do you agree with that? Or do you think our souls are able to be consciously present with God?
Saying what the scriptures say I agree with – “Today you will be with me in paradise.”
Jaime,
I am not suggesting unconsciousness (often called soul sleep). If the scriptures hint at anything, it is an awareness of the passage of time. But I think the point is that scripturally we are not to be concerned with one’s present state all that much (except to know that it is a better state with Christ, but not the end state), but instead to place our hope and comfort in the eventual coming of the Lord to right all of this. We try to comfort with heaven talk when we should comfort with resurrection talk. Heaven talk leads to comments like “the grave is the final resting place” or “he doesn’t need his body anymore.” Resurrection talk in what we confess in the creed every Sunday.