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 WANTED: Attractive, intelligent, confessional, liturgical woman that the single seminarians and pastors of the LCMS can dream about marrying from afar. Must be willing to receive unwanted gifts and creepy flirtatious Facebook comments from random strangers. Position at the International Center leading to more likely publication of perspective male’s latest theological ramblings preferred but not required. Benefits include increased likes on Facebook and increased hits on one’s personal blog. Duties include attention to personal appearance, posting of quotations by confessional authors daily, and making and maintaining connections with important confessional types.
This position has become available due to the announcement of the pending marriage between Adriane Dorr and Chris Heins. Should this engagement not come to fruition in marriage, Adriane will be offered her old position back immediately.
All applications may be sent to any single pastor or seminarian in Synod who will review qualifications and report back to the rest of the single men in the LCMS.
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Why is this in blue? Click here.
You’re married, right?
I am. This is just humor written for my single brothers.
Phil,
Going slightly off topic here, why would you want to encourage already ordained men to marry? Let me put it this way: WOuld you, as a parishioner or even as a senior pastor, want a pastor whose social calendar is consumed with finding a perspective spouse and may even try doing so even within the congregation he is serving? Doesn’t that even begin to bother you?
If a pastor wants to be married, he should do so prior to being ordained. That is for good order in the church he serves.